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I don’t feel safe at home. If I say something, I know that I’ll be taken away and my sibling will be split up. My mom would never forgive me but I hate it here. I’m tired of hearing door slams, daily cuss outs, and my mother telling me that I’m not good enough. It’s like anything I do is not good enough.

I take care of my siblings when she’s not home. On TikTok, I saw a video saying that people had to stay home to fight the virus. Lately, it seems she out of the house more than before.

I clean up anytime she asks me to and sometimes I clean up just because I don’t want to hear her mouth. She comes in the house loud on the phone and rarely speaks to us. Rarely asks us if we are okay or if we need anything. Most of my life I had to teach myself but yet she always tells me to stay in a child’s place when I would ask questions. I hate it here!

Being in school was my break away from home. Now, this stupid COVID-19 has me stuck. I leave the house to hang out with my friends outside because they are tired of their momma too. They will be alright. We talk about our memories at school and our wish for this world to be better. I know I shouldn’t leave my siblings in the house but I’m right outside. Sometimes they come with me to get out of the house while our mom is gone.

My mom uses our laptop that we got from school and my teacher has called several times asking about my assignments. I try to rotate time between my siblings but it seems to be not enough time to get it done. So I gave up. I can’t learn like this anyway. We have no school grades or tests over our heads for once. So whatever. I need to find peace in this house before I go crazy. I hope school opens back up soon because I need a safe space again.

Bianca Goolsby, MBA
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